Running Scared.

I love certain types of punctuation. Maybe not spelling but definitely, I love semicolons and periods. Maybe the occasional comma. And this might eventually lead me to my next subject: Life. I'm supposed to know what I'm doing. I feel like I'm faking it. I think I'm doing a good job because I'm starting to believe it. I want to go to Graduate School. I want to work in International Development. I want to teach History in a university setting. I want to learn Spanish. The only thing I really want is to fall in love and stay in the Peace Corps until I'm sick and tired of helping people overseas. That's not too much to ask is it? Well, yeah, actually. Because half of it relies on other people. Darn it. I am some what of a fatalist, but I also believe in making one's on choices. I just wish you could choose which choices you could give to other people (or powers) to make for you. This is getting metaphysically difficult now. What a concept. I want to choose to have people to choose for me but only at the time I choose. Is that too much to ask for? I want my future to be planned for me. Maybe not planned but at least have a general outline. You will marry this girl, you will work this job at this place. Leave the "how you got there" to me. I could work better that way. I don't like all these choices sometimes. Also this love thing. Could someone else choose for me? I guess in a way my heart does all that but then couldn't I just bypass the whole dating process and go straight to, I don't know, having a girlfriend that I want to spend all my time with. That would be effortless and great. But I guess nothing comes for free. I guess if I want to respect love I have to work for it. Like working before breakfast. It makes the meal taste better. That's the ticket. I guess. Well, that was my stream of conscious rant. Enjoy Internet, enjoy.