Death and the Stages of Grief

A few days ago the guard to my apartment complex came up to me. He had been gone a few days. Nothing huge. I noticed but it didn't really effect me that much. Maybe my greetings were a little shortened with the "new guy." He came up to apologize for his absence.
"Are you sick, malaria?"
"Ah, no it is my child."
"Oh, your child is still suffering from the sickness?"
"She passed away."
I proceed to do the thing that I do best, stare at my feet and mumble. He then told me how sorry he was to have missed the past few days. Whoa. Priorities man. I said I was sorry several times because I don't think he knows the word "condolences." It's a long complicated english word that basically means "I feel sorry."
It's amazing how death is treated here. Someone dies, a child or parent, and after a few days of mourning and wailing, everything is fine. It's just a remark in a conversation. Something one skims over when they talk about their week.
"Oh, things have been just okay. I ate nshima. I bathed my dog. My child died. I ran out of talk time. Zambia tied Egypt yesterday. You know, bit by bit."
I wonder how I will react to death when it hits someone I love. My grandmother died while I was in college. That was sad, but I think that it was sadder to me to realize that my family only really gets together during funerals. My mother got married and I didn't attend it. How absolutely ridiculous and rude is that? I am an asshole. When someone close to me dies, and my entire family shows up, how will I react? Will I be stoic? Will I cry? Will I tell jokes that border on inappropriate? Probably all the above. I will give a stoic cry that seems controlled yet hints at my sensitivity. I will then ruin said sensitivity by saying something along the lines, "the bitch had it coming...get it? She was old!" I am quite pathetic but at least I understand my own psyche.