I Suck Thorax - or IST

I just finished a week long IST or In Service Training. This pesky bugger of a workshop occurs once a year for most Peace Corps Volunteers. Were most PCVs have two during their service, I will have three. This third one was made bearable by the fact that I was a facilitator. Whew. Having some responsiblities made it a lot easier to pay attention (plus, I kind of like my job, especially facilitating).
The social aspect was pretty fun. I went to bed once, before midnight. The rest of the nights went until 2 or 3. Crazy. I felt weirdly in the way most of the week. My intake is gone. All my good friends have disappeared. 06 is tight with themselves. 07 is tight with themselves. I felt like Aubrey; the Captain of the ship can be friendly, inviting the officers to his quarters for food and wine, but he will always be different. Never a part of the crew always above. I feel that I will always be in good graces with fellow volunteers but I have no crew anymore. I am (in a non-egotistical way) above the crew. The third-year volunteer in Lusaka. Just disconnected.
I didn't jump in the pool at the bar. That probably would have endeared me to the PCVs, just not the expats I had asked to meet me there...

Ah, the times.

I feel stalker-ish when reading other people's blogs. It's very voyeur like. Slightly creepy. I visit this one girls blog a lot. I don't know why. I saw her artwork on the Moleskin project and I liked it. I've looked at a lot of random people's art blogs and I enjoy her's the most. So I visit it. Almost everyday. I think this qualifies as finding the end of the internet. It's done. There is no more.
Last night all the RAP 05 kids COSed. To all non-PCVs this will be just a bunch of acronyms and even to PCVs not from here but it does mean something and something quite profound. These cats came in 3 months after me. Some of them were my nearest neighbors, my best drinking buddies, and I even went on vacations with a few of them. Now, they are going back home. Sure a lot of them are taking the long way home; through Ethiopia, through Egypt, through Uganda, through Spain. But they are out of here and going back there. It is truly an end to an era. I enjoyed their company and will really miss them. They were such heavy drinkers and who couldn't forget Fecalgate, or PooDunnit? or Iwasthereforpooponachair. Ah, the times.
IST is next week. That will be good. I'll see my other friends. I will not be sad for long (who am I kinding, I'm not sad at all). Toodles, blog.

Sea-faring Analogies

Yeah, I feel a little lost at sea. I need to find some land. I think next week will be good. I'm co-facilitating the next Peace Corps In-Service Training. It should help me realize what I'm good at and help me to find my sea-legs. Yep, I'm treading water but soon I hope to be swimming forward. Towards land.

sea-faring analogies

Want to be friends?

I got the just-friends-speech. Ugh. That sucks. It could have sucked a whole lot more. Things definitely would not have worked out in the end. But being on the receiving end of one of those speeches when you still like the girl . . . ouch. It was an interesting walk home. I kind of wanted to get jumped. It's slightly sketchy, the road. I sometimes wish I had physical manifestations of the wounds on the inside - not just a glum attitude but contusions and broken bones. Then I wouldn't have to show an effort to get people to see how I feel. Because wearing your emotions on the outside is unattractive - but bleeding? That's effortless and therefore cool. Right? I don't know.

I'll do better next time. At least this girl showed me a life after the L.

Schools of Thought

The Matthew McConaughey School of Thought . You should break a sweat at least once a day. Just break into a sweat. Exercise. You should also be proud of what you smell like.

The Sergent Zoe School of Thought. Do not let the enemy know where you are.

The Theodore Roosevelt School of Thought. Walk softly but carry a big stick. Not exactly doing that yet, but I'd love to.

Letters

I loved receiving letters in the bush. They were my only means of information. I would spend hours reading a writing. I did not receive letters from a lot of my friends. That was truly sad. But some of my friends went beyond the call of duty and wrote many letters. And to them: I thank you. Here is a cool picture that went with a cool advertisement. I love letters. I wish I had the time to write more of them. . .

Guests like fish

Ben Franklin said it best, "guests like fish go bad after three days." How true, Ben. Of course I would not know yet. I live by myself which sometimes sucks. I miss the comradarie of the village. I really do not talk to my neighbors. Possibly because there is a wall with glass shards to keep me from conversing.
I want Peace Corps Volunteers coming from the village to stay at my house. Well see if it's a success. So far I've just had the occasional Coff or Fors stay at my house. They really don't count. Now I'm getting some real guests this month. Yesterday, Sarah. Today, Marsha. Next week, a few kids from Southern. It should be interesting. We'll see if I'm a good host. I think things should be fun. As long as they don't eat my gummie bears (like my housekeeper) or drink my beer (like Katie).